Burnt Toast

Wow so I'm not going to go through any of my past blogs for fear of how crazy cat ladyish I probably sound :'). The thing is, I never update this blog unless I'm going through some sort of episode and need to get my feelings out. Noone is reading this so why update on my day when I'll never look through it again? But writing out how I'm feeling allows me to feel chilled so it doesn't matter if I never look at it again. If that makes sense?

It's nearly 12 and I'm tidying my room. I'm starting to not want to go to uni again and have started skiving, so I'm trying to get my life sorted this weekend. Even having plans such as driving is stressing me out :/. I'm supposed to be going to the pub with my boyfriend to chat with his mates, but I can't help think.... I wont have fun and I'll actually be paying to not have fun as my boyfriend doesn't buy my drinks anymore. That's very superficial but that is what I'm honestly thinking. Uni is going better, especially my Eng class as I feel more like I'm fitting in with it all a bit now. Steven wants me to go to Northumbria open day with me (which he did for me last year) but the thought of going around on the open day will be totally shitty. I guess I should do it for him as he did it for me, but can't help but think I'm so uber busy with work that I should be spending it actually doing something worthwhile. I don't know :/. Being organised is the only way I seem to be able to function, so I guess I'll just work on that.
Ciao for now xxxx