Giving Blood

Some of you may have noticed on the news this week a story headlining about the inadequacies of the NHS system regarding blood transfusion.

In this day and age, people have contracted such diseases as HIV because they have had infected blood transfused into them mostly from USA jails containing massive rates of disease. Why? Because it was cheaper. Somehow money always wins out to basic safety and I'm absolutely appalled such a thing could happen.

On this note, I've decided to donate blood, and I hope that others consider it too. I know many people who've given birth, had a nasty operation or for other reasons needed a transfusion, and I'm sure you do too. This could easily have been one of them.

<3

Hiya,
Todays blog is going to be about Valentines day so if you're on the verge of pushing the next happy couple you see down the stairs I suggest you stop reading!

I had a lovely Valentines day with my boyfriend, Steven, although I never expected to as I've been fighting alot with my parents lately and it was really getting me down. I was curling my hair, trying really hard not to cry and he just totally turned my mood around. He'd bought candles to make it seem romantic, ordered out a film, wrote some lovely things in my card, made me a prawn salad and lovely roast meal and we had strawberries to dip into chocolate afterwoulds. Everything was perfect and even though Valentines is so horribly commercialised it made me appreciate how lovely he really is. We also made his Dad a meal too as he's alone this Valentines (sadly his wife died of cancer a few years ago) and I'm really glad we did as it must be so shit for those who have broken hearts. It's so easy to get carried away in your own happiness to appreciate what others are going through.

My biggest worry at the moment is deciding what University to apply for. How miniscule is that in comparison? It's still stressing me out though. I got offers for every course and Uni that I applied to although I didn't think I would. I can't decide between the two; one I felt totally comfortable at, it's a good university and I liked the course (English and History Dual). The other Uni is by far more respectable, I'd be more likely to get a job but I'd have to do a summer course, take on an extra subject as they do their combined subjects in threes (English, History and Politics) and it didn't feel as comfortable. I'm fighting between sense and heart, I know I should give myself the best education, but I did that before with Sixth Form and I hated it. What to do? I'm hoping time will be on my side and make it a more clear decision.

My boyfriend has also decided to apply for University on a Building Surveying course as he was recently made redundant and it's proving literally impossible. He was one year shy of the full qualification of third year, but hopefully the second year will be enough to let him on. He has one university choice, one course, and I can't help but feel jealous of his clear cut decision. I wish I had a time machine to see in the future if I took one route to another, sort of sliding doors style. I've been so stressed I bought a beautiful purple dress (it was in a sale for £12! Yayy) to make me happy and I've been eating so much I've went from being underweight to the brink of overweight. I'm literally two pounds off! How on earth did this happen? I'm going to blame the implant I recently had (ok ok, maybe my cake eating) but I want to get it taken out anyway as it's giving me bad skin and I'm on my periods constantly which is proving difficult in relationship-wise. I'll let you know how that goes.

Oh yes, I got my first follower recently! Thanks so much I feel very happy and honoured, like I've won a good award it means so much to me, it really made my day.. I was thinking that I didn't want to scare them off, but had no idea of knowing what they liked didn't like. I was on somebodys blog and they actually had this ticky-box thing after every blog which said 'More of this' or 'Less of this'. How fab! Could anyone tell me where to find such a tool on blogging? x

:( The shame...

I'm going to share with you one of my most painfully cringeworthy moments to date... So be nice!

I'm currently spending the weekend at my boyfriends house as I'm not getting on so well with my parents at the moment. Everything was going well, I've been quiet enough not take over the house, I made his Dad a cup of tea, chatted to his brother. I was feeling pretty good...
UNTIL....
Well, I was wearing my nice comfy pink checked pj's and as I was taking them off to change into my jeans I spotted it. Not that it was hard to spot if you had any view of my backside whatsoever. I would use the word hole but that would be a complete understatement - it was the biggest massive right-across-my-ass-crack rip.
What happened?? Did I bend over and my ass got exciteable with my recent weight gain and tried a bid for escape.. but got stuck in the seams? The horrible, horrible shame.
I have clearly been showing my ass to everybody in the household in the most obvious clear way ever. My boyfriend found it hilarious when I had a freak out, but I'm sure a little part of me has died.
I think I'm going to wear fiver layers of pants from now - surely they can't all rip?

The Old Gang...

Because me and my sister are just that cool.

The snow has been a particular factor in my 'become a hermit plan'. It's ok going out with my boyfriend as I can just catapult into his car before I'm too cold, but since I'm too poor to take one driving lesson, nevermind run a car, and the buses are evil, I've been contemplating cancelling plans this week. But as some of you know one of my plans was to go to a meal with some old school friends including two girls, Beth and Cary, who hadn't been out for ages so I begrudingly went.

It was actually a good evening, everybody looked great, the food was great, the talking was great etc.

The only problem is, and please tell me I'm not the only one - does anyone else have friends that talk about their boyfriends as if they have golden poos?

My friend Cary I'm quite sure heavy breathes when the topic of her boyfriend drops into converation. Which is all the time - she is constantly chucking him in there for us to appreciate. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some bitter old cat lady who perves on the neighbours for a good time, I have a great relationship with my guy. I really do love him but unlike Cary I don't suddenly form tourettes which makes me swear out boyfriend topics, and I don't show photos of him in the bath, in his new clothes, kissing me, when he's at college etc and truly believe everyone is finding the conversation rivating. Also, she compared him to the blonde one off Superbad and Juno who I have loved forever and she has now crushed it. Noooo!

I might sound cruel, but I make a point of not talking about boyfriends too much as it really is a bit boring as all you can say is 'Awww' and 'That's nice' otherwise you sound nasty and bitter or too keen - like "Mmmmm he's so dreamy, yeah Cary I know what you mean..... Mmmm" which I doubt would go down so well haha.

I try to look interested at first, but soon I'm distracted looking at her perfectly formed hair, or the man who's chatting up a woman on the other table and I know she's is getting pissy about it. "Oi, Emmmmmaaaaa" she says over dramatically (everything is over dramatic about Cary, which is actually part of her appeal...Most of the time). Hallelujah! A topic change! I jump in "You're hair looks lovely" in the hope she is distracted, and because her hair really is nice and I want to find about how she did it. But alas, poor Yorick - "Reallllly, well I just threw it up, my boyfriend helped me" and it begins again.

Ok, maybe I am a bit of a cat lady. Don't worry about the neighbours though, I don't want to scar myself with the image of them......ergh. I have already heard them too many times through the wall.

A Good Mood

Hello!
I'm in a really good mood today despite that I'm snotting all over as I write. Not just because I'm a bit minging like that but because I have inevitably got the cold my Mam had. I just have to be in the same room as someone ill and I'll have the same thing a week later. Thank god this doesn't seem to happen with STDS otherwise I'd be in trouble haha.

I think having an excuse not to get out of bed is great, and also I got two new items of clothing in the post which I love, love, love! Yep I feel it was necessary to write that three times haha. I will upload them later but my mobile has been sent away today to get unlocked.

Oh guess what, I keep on jinxing myself with whatever I write in this blog. It's very creepy. Whatever I say is not going to happen like, ever, seems to happen a few days after I write it. Some of you might remember a blog or so ago I wrote about some friends that never bother to keep in touch or arrange anything and I was finally giving up. Strangely enough, Kat has arranged for the full group to go to a meal, very unlike her, and Bex is coming along although she usually never bothers. So on this note, gee I don't think I'm going to win the lottery...


I'll let you know if that worked...


Also I got my job back today which I got fired from. I missed a few work shifts because I wasn't told about them so I was fired by letter, yay. Anyway I handed in my uniform last week at the office but my Boss rings me up today saying she never fired me she just wanted to know where I was. The letter said "You have seven days to resign, or we'll take it that you've left and will have to dismiss you permanently". But er, ok. To be fair my work is a place where I'm sure dreams die, but money never comes my way often so probably best I take it back up. To give you an insight into the glamourous world of me I work part time in a "kiosk" which means a glorified mcdonalds that doesn't smell sell chips. I just wrap hot dogs, move pies about, occasionally go on the till, handle abuse from rowdy drunks and generally want to fling myself out of the closest window. Soo, I was wondering, who out there reading this has officially the worst job ever and can make me feel better about mine? Go for it!

Quote for the week :)

Here's a quote from singer Adelle on receiving freebie clothes:
"I've given up on them. They come in a size 8 max. I'm like 'Well that's one leg sorted'"
I nearly peed a little on the bus when I read it.

Letting Go Of The Old

I'm sure I'm not the only person who hates to lose people they were once so close to. We all have people who were once special to us, but for some reason or other we're lucky if we see them once a year. It happens gradually; you start to see eachother less, you bump into eachother and say you're going to make an effort, but it never happens.

My usual story is that I end up doing all the chasing. For example, I once had a best friend, Cary, a few years back who started to hang around with the 'popular' people. I didn't really mind at first, I was happy that she had extra friends as I had my own too, and I knew we were still tight. After time though she stopped making time for our group of friends and only wanted to hang around with them. I couldn't understand it, surely she could make the time for both of our groups, just as everybody else did? Of course she had the time, but sometimes you can't force something that somebody doesn't want anymore. It hurt to be rejected, I tried talking, trying to make an extra go. It annoyed me that she wouldn't bother for a month and then she'd ring me up as if we'd only talked a few hours ago and she'd ask if I wanted to go out. Cary considered herself too busy to arrange things like meals etc and getting everbody together and thought it was totally fine to expect me to always do it. At first I didn't mind, but as time went by and the texts always started 'I want to go out clubbing, could you invite everybody', it got to the stage where I thought why bother? Looking back I was so desperate for it to work and we had such a good time when she finally came out I just kept on making up for her lack of effort. It wasn't that I didn't have other friends, I had loads of really good caring ones, but just that we used to be so close was enough to make me do all the running. I still get the odd text.

This pattern follows on through a multitude of friendships. Most recently was Beth, a good friend for the past 8 years. She would always complain she was stuck in the house on her blog, and as I hadn't seen her for a while I thought I'd make the effort. We went on a walk and it was really fun, so we arranged to meet up in a few days to go shopping. I was woken up by my phone ringing and a stroppy Bex on the other side.
"Where are you?" She fumed.
I looked at the watch, it was 9am (!) but we weren't meeting until 1pm.
"Errr in bed... Why were are you?" A horrible panic began forming in my stomach.
"Standing outside where we're supposed to be meeting, thanks alot"
I'm sure that we arranged for 1pm, so I tried to make her believe me, and that I could meet her in 30mins and make it up to her. She was obviously very annoyed which I understood, but after alot of apologizing she refused to see me and went home. I tried messaging her online (where she had nicely posted messages to my close friends telling them of how I'd forgot about her and left her there on purpose) to apologize. I tried to invite her out and promised I would be on time and that it was a mistake. Somehow she was always busy with her new friends. After a while it finally dawned on me, there wasn't much more I could do about the situation, she was only a 10 minute walk from home anyway, I had apologised alot more than once, and all the time she was obviously not budging. It was nearly a year ago, and she still hasn't been free to see me, but she never invites me out to things when she does have the money. The only exception was her birthday in which I was given less than a days notice and had no money and I think she still holds it against me.

Today, my friend came into Town just to see me and have dinner with me, and she walked all the way to work with me after our lessons to hand in my uniform, then walked me to the bus stop (which took like 2 hours). I insisted she didn't as I felt pretty sly because so much walking was involved, but she said I was a friend and that she didn't mind because she'd know I'd do it for her. When I think of Beth though, I dont think this would ever happen, although maybe it would have (and did) once upon a time.

My new resolution from now on is that I'm not going to jump through hoops to stay good friends with people if they aren't making any effort back. It's hard to say, and I know I might sound a few sneaky texts just to see how she's doing as I do with all of my friends, but I'm going to stop making all the effort. Ha, I sound like such a loser. I swear I'm not a cat lady - I really do have friends that I see alot! But seriously, if you let people take advantage, sometimes even your closest friends will take the opportunity. Let me know what you think... Anyone else in a similar situation?