Spoil Sports

It was my friend Jo's birthday on the 6th - so I got all revved up to go and help her make a night of it. Amongst the girlies were yours truly, Jo the birthday girl, Crazy Rebecca B, Hardcore drinker Roz and Whiney-Bex.

I knew we'd go places that I wasn't really into; a pirate bar which had no recognizable cocktails and a rock bar where I was bitten four times were amongst these, but I had a laugh and made sure that everybody was feeling the party vibe. More than anything, I knew Jo had worried about pleasing everyone so I wanted to make sure she was having a good time.

Eventually after a few more bars we decided to go to a club, Liquid. We agreed to pay the £3 entry fee, Roz having to pay in Bex for some unknown reason. The music was pumping, so we headed to the floor. Everyone was getting into the groove.

Other than Bex. She just stood there limp for literally two songs before she went to the toilets. Roz went in after her and told us that Bex 'hated' it, but keeping in mind we had spent two hours in shit holes for Bex I couldn't help but feel annoyed as she'd barely given it six minutes. So Roz feeling guilty and responsible had to leave with Bex to go back to a scummy pub. I made a big effort to make sure Jo was having a good time and we had a right laugh, just the three of us, but I could tell that it was niggling on Jo and she felt a bit shit about it.

We were really enjoying ourselves but at two, an hour and half since we'd been in the club, Bex rang to say they couldn't get back in as it allowing people through the doors at 2am. Bex would have definiately went home ages ago but as Jo was paying for the full taxi I knew she'd stay to the bitter end - and huff about it along the way. So we had to leave which was really annoying as all three of us wanted to stay out, but we couldn't just leave them outside.

Outiside, Jo, Roz and myself decided to end the night with some dirty junk food but Bex complained we wouldn't be able to eat it in the taxi, clearly expecting that since she wanted to get home that everyone else should jump for her. We sat inside, trying to cheer up Bex who you would have thought had just been told a loved one had just died or something.

When we finished she even went in a huff because we explained you couldn't just jump in the taxi line in front of people just because you needed the larger taxis and that you had to wait in the que. Next, keeping in mind Jo was paying for everybodys taxi she asked if it would be ok to drop us off at a place in between all our houses rather than drop us off straight outside our doors. We all agreed - other than Bex of course, as she had to walk for 20 mins (just like Becca and Roz who didn't complain).

I remembered when it was Bex's birthday and she had brought her own car as she wasn't drinking. Jo had lost the people she was supposed to be getting a taxi back with and couldn't afford it on her own, so Jo asked for a lift off Bex (they live about 5 mins away from eachother) and Bex went completely off it. Jo even said she would walk from Bex's but Bex made such a massive issue out of it as if Jo had just asked for her one working kidney or something. Bex is notorious for never giving lifts even when she has the space and it would be at no extra cost as we'd walk from hers so if she's that spiteful more than anything she should expect the same back.

I just couldn't believe the cheek of Bex. Even if it wasn't her scene she could have made the effort to enjoy Liquid and compromise. She could have been less snotty about the taxi or offered to pay the difference considering how harsh she is with her own lifts. Am I being unreasonable? Do you guys think that she was in the right? Let me know :)

Agony Aunts

Ok, so my subject today is the use of Agony Aunts. Has anyone ever used them or know of people that use them? Did you or them receive good advice back? If you would/wouldn't, why?

I personally use them in dilemmas if I get alot of corresponding advice from friends. After all, they will have different perspectives from their own experience and also some people may have intentions for offereing certain advice. For example, I want to "break up" (oh yes I'm just that cool...) with a friend, but I don't know whether to tell her straight and give her an explanation, or petter it out to avoid a total eruption on her part.

So my other friend wants me to rip her to pieces for "closure", but I know it's because she doesn't like this friend either, but on the other hand, my brother for example thinks I should just be "unavailable". However, my boyfriend reminds me that as she invites herself to social occasions and usually ends up putting me down in front of everyone when she's my friend, how can I expect her to act when she knows I'm fazing her out of my life. So as you can see, I really need outside advice for my issues! So yep, I used an agony aunt site for an objective piece of advice. I haven't really had much feedback as of yet, so I'll post them on here and hopefully you guys can me some advice which would be MUCH appreciated! With love x

Problem number one:

"I've been friends with a girl, Rebecca, for the past few years. I felt guilty as when we were in school she didn't have many friends because she is so offensive and can be quite controlling. I was basically her only friend, and I invited her along to events etc with my friends so she felt included, as she has quite a bad home life. We ended up getting pretty close until I introduced her to this guy called Jonny.

Anyway, they were dating but did not get on very well and she continually took it out on me. Once she rang me for an hour to complain about him saying it was my fault as he'd been making jokes about having sex with me. This is typical of Jonny's sense of humour but Rebecca is very jealous so it didn't rub well. Also she was becoming increasingly needy of me, jealous if she didn't get to sit next to me at the dinner table if me and my friends went out for meals, or if I talked to anybody else. She even went in a mood when I was dancing iwith my boyfriend on a night out instead of her. I got sick of her talking to me like I was a piece of sh** after too many gos at me.

She aso has massive double standards which got on my nerves. For example, she would make it near impossible for me not to go to an event she wanted me to go to, even if I didn't fancy it, but she'd cancel on me for silly reasons like she was eating her tea so she wasn't coming out full stop. She also started talking to me horribly in front of friends and my boyfriend, which was really embarrassing as they could not comprehend that I would allow anybody to talk to me like that as I'm not that type of person, but I'd always make up excuses. She stood me up for a meal last minute so I finally decided to say something. She completely exploded at me, typically blaming me for everything, and then a week later acted like everything was normal, even inviting herself to my birthday party. I told her straight that I was annoyed, but she just apologised in a way like it was still my fault and acted normal again. Anyway, she has just stood me up again and had a go saying that I haven't bothered with her for the past month, but that's because I haven't seen anyone as I've had tons and tons of exams. She hasnt rang/messaged me either and I did invite her out clubbing so I made more of an effort than her. Now I'm at a dilemma, I basically don't want much to do with her, but should I tell her straight for closure and so she knows as she'll just keep ringing me and asking me out all the time like everything is fine, or should I just hope that eventually she gets the hint?



I don't want to particularly cause more drama but I want her to get the hint. I know she'll just ring and she's been known to randomly come round my house if I've been "busy", and I hate confrontation so I know I'd just end up forgiving her again and being nice, giving her mixed signals. Any ideas? Thanks very much for any help "

Problem number two
"I have been friends with a girl called Ashley since we both began on the same course. We got on really well, so she began inviting me to social occasions.

The thing is, one of her friends Alix who is always invited has taken an instant disliking to me. I tried being over the top nice to her, but she'd be really one worded, and I heard from Ashley that she's really possesive and that she sees me as a threat for some unknown reason. Nothing I have tried has worked to win her over, so now we kind of just ignore eachother which would be fine..... But she leaves me out of conversations by talking about people/things I don't know, she physically walks away if we're out and starts a conversation somewhere else with other people so they leave me to see her, or if we're clubbing she dances somewhere totally differently causing a rift as if "Choose her or me". She tells people that she makes a massive effort with me but I ignore her, and says I give her evil looks which is totally untrue as I still act politely to her but don't go out of my way to talk, and Ashley agrees that it is Alix's problem.

I don't know whether to continue acting normaly and be polite or whether I should avoid all events with Alix in them althogh that's pretty much everyone and just see Ashley by myself. If I do that though I feel horrible telling Ashley explicitly to not invite Alix to stuff and just other people as it makes me look really harsh. Then again if I let Alix know for a fact that I hate her that would make me look bitchy if I go out of my way to be a bitch. I just want an easy life where I don't have to feel judged or left out from Alix which she always tries to do. Help?!"