Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Fashion, The Implant and Relationship issues






Only £15 from Primark. I know they're a bit done for now (it rained :@) but I still love them. They're just like the ones in Topshop they're selling for £50 and nearly an exact replicar of the Oasis boots which they're selling for £80. Ooooo yeah.




Also, I got my blood results back today; I'm B+ which means I'm 8% of the population. So much for my Mam's insistence that I have common blood haha.




I have two things I want to talk about: One's a topic I said I'd talk about before, contraception kids! The other is the messy nature of relationships. Sorry in advance for the mammoth essay I will no doubt produce... I suggest to get a cup of tea, some toast and slap on a CD to get comfy ;). So without further ado....




The implant of doooooooooom


I get asked alot about why I chose to get an implant in the first place, and what it was like to get it put in, so I thought I'd share all the gore on here.




Basically, I was having a stomach problem at the time, but in order to treat it my normal pill would be ineffective. I always always use condoms so I could have solely used them, but I'm convinced that I need at least two forms of contraception to avoid getting pregnant which would just be so typical. I know, I know, the chances of one not working is under 1% but I just know that one % would be me, just out of spite. Anyway call me anal/crazy, or both... I went to the doctors to see what else I could use. They gave me the mini pill which worked on a different hormone, so I started using that.




You're not supposed to have periods at all on it, but non-surprisingly in my luck I had a period every day for months on end. I kept on getting told to wait and wait, so I did...for a year. A year I had a period everyday, such irony as the full reason for going on it was to have sex, but I couldn't because of the periods. Anyhoo, eventually after I was getting so dizzy (these bad boy periods were heavy) I was feeling faint all the time, they agreed to use the only final solution, the implant. I must admit, I was very reluctant because of the horror stories of them being put in wrongly, going infected and really hurting just to insert. I begrudingly set an appointment anyway.




I was so scared on appointment day. They make you lie on a table and use a general anaesthetic which I never had before so I was scared I'd have a reaction. Also the whole lying on the table thing was scaring me like "how serious is this?!" so I was clearly like a looney-bin. They then inserted a massive needle into my arm (which I couldn't feel thank god) and then pushed through the implant. It felt more uncomfortable than anything. It's not an experience I'd want to have again, but it wasn't that bad and only a little uncomfortable afterwards.




BUT... I have had more problems! I've put on a stone, broke out in acne on my back and my periods still didn't stop. They put me on the pill alongside the implant to see if it would stop my periods which is has, but my mood swings are unreal with all of those hormones in me. Plus, my spots still haven't cleared up even though I've been using prescribed cream, and also I'm so moody I'm annoying everyone around me. They wont take out my implant either, the cheap bastards as it would be a waste of NHS money....




2's comfort, 4's taking the piss


Ok, so what is the crack that is happening with all the relatioships around me at the moment? Firstly, Jo is getting back with the a-hole boyfriend who cheated on her, but I have cleverly avoided giving a completely true opinion (drop him like an STD) as I don't want shit kicked in my face. I'm quite happy to just be focusing on my own relationship with Steven, but unwittingly, getting together two of our best friends means we are getting sucked into all their drama too.




Becca is a good friend, a little unhinged and controlling, but generally it's all good. She is notorious for being messed around, and so naive that she usually believes that her booty call invitation on a Friday night means he really does see her as girlfriend material. Hello?! One guy wanted sex on demand, which she basically provided, convinced that it would make him want to be serious with her. When you can have all the cream without the responsibility of the tantrums, mood swings and all the shit of a relationship, but get all the benefits... Why would any guy change this? Eventually he got bored and moved on.




So Becca jumped into similar scenario as usual. This time, he could only see her every Friday, but she defended this by saying that "Oh, well it's the same as a relationship" - erm no. There is more to a relationship than a one night get together a week and sex. Relationships are about trust, understanding eachother, love etc. etc. When she hinted to this new guy she wanted the title as his "girlfriend" he told her he was only interested in 'fun'. Becca was gutted, I told her to end it if she wanted something more, but she was sure that if she kept on seeing him every Friday he would change his mind. "It's like we're in a relationship anyway" she kept on insisting. "Yep, but Becca... He must obviously want to be seeing other girls too otherwise he would" but she was having none of it. Eventually, he started getting lazy. She was always ready to jump, but he began stalling off for time (probably to sort out his real girlfriend before he left her to see Becca) or cancelling on Becca completely, being vague about why ("Some shit I need to sort...."). He became really half assed and she was finally starting to accept that there was no future. People like Becca though, they need somebody to fill the gap, they can't just be alone. I racked my brains for somebody, anybody, that would treat her better. I came up with Jonny. He was one of my boyfriends mates, and although completely stupid, would at least treat her right.




They started dating, but Jonny was so nervous around her and basically doesn't have that much to say for himself anyway, Becca felt like she was literally dating herself. So anyway, to fill the silences they ended up talking alot about me and Steven. I can't say I was overly impressed with this because I like my relationships to be quite private and I know she'd been saying personal stuff I'd told her to him, and vice versa. To cut a long story short, he went away in his job in the army for two months, so that cooled the situation, although when he was drunk he kept on mentioning on and on about how he fancied me so Becca was literally going mad. When he came back though, it's been worst than ever.
Both me and Becca was going to a birthday party on the Sunday night, but it also happened to be the time Jonny was coming back home. We were meeting for 7.30pm, so Becca would have had to leave Jonny's house at 6.50pm very latest. Anyway, he wasn't due back until 6pm so that would have made seeing him pretty pointless, but Becca wanted to see him anyway even if it was only for a little while. When she was at work though, Jonny texted saying he wouldn't be back until even later than that so Becca went into a proper mood. She rang me up to have a rant almost blaming me as I introduced them (?) and then said she was getting the 7.03pm bus. I told her I was going to be late so I'd just meet her at the restuarant. Anyway, I was waiting outside the restaurant with Jo who I'd picked up on the way as she was also running late. It slipped past 7.30pm and still no word from anyone else we were meeting so Jo rang and they said that they were still making their way down. They didn't turn up until 8pm as Kat (the usual suspect) was late. Becca stormed up to me looking verrrrrry pissed.
"Where have you been for fucks sake?!"
Jo looked bemused. "Errrmmm waiting here"
"You said you were meeting me! I was waiting like I'd been stood up for ages! I couldn't get through because of my mobile.. I was going to go home when I bumped into these guys because it was just taking the piss" on and on and on. This was the second time that I was getting ranted at by her in one day. I hate confrontation so I just said "I said that I was meeting here". We both knew she didn't have a point so she dropped it and started looking at her menu. Two seconds later, she starts trying to talk to me all nicely. I'm getting fed up by this point so I ignore her and pertend I'm engrossed in the conversation around me. After the meal, we're supposed to be going to the pub, but she storms off to the bus stop. We all decide to just call it a night. Becca gets the bus with me and Kat, so we receive a 20min rant on her relationship with Jonny. I'm pretty much ready to fling myself out the window, so I'm glad when it's my stop.
The next day, Becca sends me a text going 'I'm with Jonny now - finally. Am gonna have a talk'. I dont respond as I dont want to yet again get involved. The day after that she sends me a rant about him on facebook and how he made her cry by not saying anything. She also rings me mobile which I miss, so she rings my house phone to have a go about how I never answered the phone I never heard, and the facebook message she has literally just sent me. She rants about Jonny for another hour.
In this rant though, she mentions that Jonny thinks my boyfriend only ever talks about sex, and the other half of the time he's just boring. I don't know whether she wants a reaction, so I don't give her one, but I'm puzzled why she would mention it. Anyway, Steven rings me going "Have you been saying shit to Becca about Jonny?" (Like I could get a word in edgewise!)
I'm like 'Nope, why?'
"Apparently, Jonny is going to confront you, but that has to stay between you and me, I'm not supposed to say. Have you been saying shit?"
"Noooo. If anything I defend him!"
"What about the prostitute thing?" Ok, I mentioned this before they started going out, so why would it cause shit now?
So now, I'm awaiting an embarrassing confrontation. I'm at my wits end. It's like Becca wants Jonny to argue with Steven, me and Steven to argue and for me to eventually argue with Jonny! I just can't work her out. Any ideas?








Sunday, 29 March 2009

The Car Booty

So as part of the 'Yes' plan I went to the Car boot sale today and did a bit of shopping. I know what you are thinking, just too cool for words but I actually got a few bargains I'm going to show you! I also got a dress but it's already in the wash so I'll add that photo later.





The boots are from New Look, from £30 to £15 and even though I just bought some tassley ankle boots I find it so hard to fit boots I bought them anyway. Also, £15 is a good bargain for boots anyway. I also got foundation for £1 from Wilkinsons which is actually a really good shade for my skin, as well as a anti-persperint for 78p yayy. The best bargain was this 'Royal Jelly' set from Boots which I got at the Car booty... only £1 which is amaaaazing value. It's sealed so defianetly hasn't been used and its within sell by date so I'm mega happy! I'll upload the dress soon ;) hope you are all keeping well! x






Wednesday, 25 March 2009

The "Yes" Plan

For the next two weeks I'm going to have a "Yes" week. Not just because I recently watched 'The Yes Man' (which, incidentally wasn't that good of a film) but because I'm sick of saying no because I can't be bothered or want to keep my money. Lifes about living, and I don't want to regret my life; you can't take your money with you.

So... Everytime a decent opportunity comes up I'm going to go for it. So far, I've been talked into drinking a litre of alcopop finished off by a dirty pizza. To follow is a meal at an Indian restaurant, I've booked tickets to see Chicago the musical, go for an Italian meal with my boyfriend and go out for a pub crawl with a few friends. Also somebody rang up asking for more blood in a few more months so I had to say yes haha. It actually feels very liberating, so I hope that everybody reading this goes for it! Try it for one week, honestly you won't regret it. Tomorrow is a car boot sale and bingo at the working mans club which I'm really looking forward to in all their lameness, so I best get some sleep to be up and ready for a more interesting day than usual! x

Saturday, 21 March 2009

Giving Blood




Hello everybody :).

Yesterday I gave blood yayyy so I can feel all proud of myself now. The thing that was stopping me the most was fear of the unexpected so I'll fill you in on all the details!

Me, my sister , B, (who was turning 17 yesterday so finally allowed to do it), my boyfriend Steven, and his friend, Frazer, all went down yesterday. There was a desk at the front of the entrance with an angry looking women who barked to come back later in an appointment time. So after gorging on cakes, sandwiches and drinking lots of fluids like they tell you (what an excuse!) we came back.
First of all we had to fill out our details to make sure our blood was safe and then go into a private room to check through the answers. My boyfriend went first and got rejected as he'd had a tattoo in the past six months and I must admit a secret part of me was hoping I'd fail the little pin prick test to check if your haemoglobin (...or something...) levels were OK. How bad is that?! Finally it was my turn where I got interrogated by four nurses because I'd had a recent blood test but finally I was allowed. The prick itself hurt a little in your finger but it wasn't bad.
Waiting in the Que I really wanted to run out the door - especially when half way through Frazer's giving blood he turned white and his eyes rolled back in his head. He'd fainted before enough blood had been given so he had to have his discarded so all that worry was for nothing too! It was so scary watching it; all the nurses rushed over and made a massive fuss like an episode of E.R or something so I was getting more and more nervous.

"Don't worry, I've given blood sixteen times without problems" the woman in the seat next to me said since I was clearly eyeing up the exit door suspiciously. She did go on to tell me how both her brother and boyfriend fainted too though so I was still nervous. My sister who was already on one of the beds was having problems too as they couldn't find a vein, so it took so long I ended up having mine done before hers.

I had a problem with veins too; apparently both mine and my sisters were so thin it was hard to find a vein that was wider than the needle. The needle only hurt a little, but you can get a general anaesthetic if you don't want to feel it, but I didn't really see the point as you need a needle to put the general anaesthetic in anyway. After that it was fine apart from my blood pressure was so low I set off the alarm tons of time along with my sister. In the end my needle kept on having to get twisted and my sisters needed to be pressed in. I did feel a tiny bit dizzy but not much and all the other nurses bar the first one was lovely, and after she got our blood she was nice too EVENTUALLY haha. We got made to have some juice and a biscuit to get our blood feeling OK again, and even though we were both so exhausted we went to bed at half 8 it felt really good to have given blood. I was on such a high! I would do it again because other than the major nervousness the actual giving blood wasn't even bad.


I feel fine now the day after so I really would recommend it. Even Frazer who fainted wanted to give it another go and he was totally fine after some juice. You have to wait 4 months before you can give it again so it's not for a while now anyway. I'll add some more photos at the bottom to give you an idea of what its like which my sister took. Let me know if I've helped/influenced anyone in making their choice! x
Below: I took this photo this morning... if you look carefully you can see the pink on my wrist even though I got it done last night!

Above: What it looked like after the plaster was taking off - only a tiny pin prick.Above: a delightful photo of the needle in the community centre. The flooring is done for! Hehe.

Sunday, 15 March 2009

Baltic and Prostitution...

Hello everybody :).
Sorry that I haven't been online for a while updating, I feel a bit neglectful! But in between my recent working and playing hard I've failed in my attempt to win in the war of the computers with my family. How anyone can spend nine and a half hours on ebay and facebook is beyond me.

My studies have been ok (may as well start with the boring). My English teacher made me do a written timed assignment and I got the best mark in the class, surprisingly as I left 20mins early to go to the dentist. Ok, ok, it was to meet a friend at the train station but I dont think that would have gelled as easily. He said I had "natural talent" and was an "obvious 'A' candidate". I'm not going to lie; it made me feel all fuzzy and happy inside. Probably to the sickening noticeability of everybody else, but hey it rarely happens so I got a little secretly excited!

To equal this out however the rest of my day was very depressing. First of all, someone stood on a pidgeon which had no legs in the Town Centre. Some people think that they're just vermin, but I'm a softie for animals so it was very depressing. It had "please take me home, I'll try not to poo on your bed" eyes. I know my cat would be like NOM in 3 seconds - and it probably had STDs or something. But still. I tried to pick it up to the disgust of everyone else and it tried to bite me. The love was there somewhere though I'm sure.
To brighten the mood we went to the Baltic art gallery which had the most amazing Pop Art theme last time I went. I loved it, so I went along with my friend and of course the subject this time was 'Violence to women'. So this featured:
1) A screening of 'Rape'
2) Loads of videos featuring a womans' body part such as her feet etc. with flies over so it looked like she was dead. This included a zoom in on her "woman areas" for a BIG amount of time. I giggled just to break the silence and was escorted out.
3) A maze where I walked into the glass walls seven times.
4) A jelly woman cut into boxes.
It was horrible to be honest, I guess it presented something which should be highlighted in society, especially as 50% of people actually think it's ok to hit a woman. What is wrong with you people? Nobody should be hitting anyone, but er, ok.

Finally to top of the fun of the day my friend, Kemi, got a phone call from her other friend saying her friends Mum had just died. She'd had a tumour on the brain for years, but obviously she must have been devastated. I trailed back so depressed I ate an entire block of cheese.

Yesterday was alot better; I went drinking with my boyfriend, Steven, his friend Sean and his girlfriend Natalie. The thing I don't get about them is that if you look at them they look so in love. They're really affectionate all the time; he helps her out the car, he buys her drinks and whispers things in her ear. But all the time he's cheating on her with the occasional prositute and she's none the wiser. It's so strange to see how things can be perceived and the reality behind it. Apparently it's ok to cheat if you dont get sex in your own relationship rather than just work out the problems first. But hey ho. I guess you can never take for granted that just because someones in a relationship they're off the market. It was a nice drink but we had to leave early as we got I'D and Natalie had forgot to bring hers. You might be wondering, don't you feel like telling her? I would make Steven lose all his friends if I did as he wasn't supposed to tell me, and to be honest I don't want to get trapped in all the drama. I don't know, I think if anyone should tell her it should be him anyway, and me and Natalie aren't exactly close so I'm not even sure she would believe me.
Hope you are all doing well :), I'll update soon x x x

Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Running In The Rain and Blog Suggestions

I was very surprised to find that Jo (who has recently split up with her boyfriend, and is usually very emotional afterwards) was totally fine mood-wise. In fact she didn't cry once on our full run, I'm so happy that she's handling it so well. It was so dark because there's no lamposts along the coast (!) and bloody freezing as we had to stop every 20 seconds for Jo to catch her breath. We were soaking off all the rain so it was quite funny coming home and sitting on black sacks.

Anyhoo, I've decided to do a blog on every suggestion I get, no matter how ridiculous/personal. I'm also taking some from friends etc. so if you feel like it comment and in time I'll do it 0:)
So far I've been asked to do these:
  1. Make a photoblog of my day (from Beth)
  2. A blog on whats in my bag with a description...that should be interesting haha
  3. Discuss the contraception I use and why
  4. Describe your top three favourite books

That's not really too bad at all, so if you want to challenge me go for it.
Look forward to hearing them x x x

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

10 things

I'm sure you've seen these swimming everywhere , so here's 10 facts and confessions from me :)

1) I had a headbrace for a year. Yes, kill me now. The memory still makes me embarrassed , thankfully I only had to wear it in the house.

2) If I could do any job with money not an issue I would own my own kennels with a policy not to put any healthy animal down.

3) I used to go drinking at the weekend down the cliffs with bottles of alcopop in pure charvey style. I miss it.

4) I've cheated in two serious exams in my life. One was for Physics GCSE where I carved formulas on a pencil with a pin. The other English Language where I wrote a plan on my hand. I'm sorry.

5) When the theme tunes for our familys' favourite shows come on we all get up and do the lamest dance we can think of. This is hard to explain to other people as you can imagine haha.

6) I once kissed a girl, but unlike Katy Perry, I didn't like it.

7) Sometimes a tiny little part of me misses being single even though my boyfriend is so great.

8) I have serious issues with people eating. I can't stand people eating quickly, with their mouths open, on buses etc. I know I'm a freak lol.

9) I love the dance machine and going to the fair :)

10) I used to fancy Inspector Morse. Oh dear.