He's just not that into you

Word of advice: When people tell you about their problems they actually rarely want your advice.

For example, my friend Ashley who is currently single meets some guy in a club, knows him for about 30mins, swaps numbers and comes out disappointed when he ends up messing her around. "He was so genuinely lovely" she says about a guy she met in a taxi que, "We talked for hours" she says dreamily, only to find out that she is talking about facebook which is hardly the most effective way to find out someones intentions. There was the guy she met on a night out, and after he finally arranged to meet up with her (after cancelling tons of times previously which should have been an indicator), he talked to her for 5 mins and claimed he'd left his mobile upstairs... And then never came back. Now it's a guy she talked to in the que, who mentioned offhandedly that he had bad connection, and so this has excused a message she sent to him asking if he wanted to go on a date (even though he's been online), instant messages where he randomly disappears and then total phasing out. But she just can't let it go, there has to be an explanation and it can't be written off, she needs to know. There was a guy with a girlfriend who'd cheated numerous times but she still thought he'd be a good catch. Finally she settled for a guy who was a friend that she had no sexual attraction to, and wondered why it didn't work out.

If only she played it cool and didn't over analyse everything then it wouldn't be so painful when she gets repreatedly disappointed by people that normal girls would not waste an extra breath on. Of course you're going to get disappointed when a guy on a night out is not interested, but you barely know him so by taking it one step at a time it's not going to be as bad. The friend-turned boyfriend- turn frenemy is supposed living proof that no man will work out for her. I don't believe that's true. I really think you need to know a guy first before you jump into a relationship and invest your emotions, but that means dates and time with a guy you fancy, not converting a friendship into something it can never be.

So, if you're scratching your head wondering how relationships never seem to work out, hunni you may need a wakeup call.
Love<3
Em