Ok, so my subject today is the use of Agony Aunts. Has anyone ever used them or know of people that use them? Did you or them receive good advice back? If you would/wouldn't, why?
I personally use them in dilemmas if I get alot of corresponding advice from friends. After all, they will have different perspectives from their own experience and also some people may have intentions for offereing certain advice. For example, I want to "break up" (oh yes I'm just that cool...) with a friend, but I don't know whether to tell her straight and give her an explanation, or petter it out to avoid a total eruption on her part.
So my other friend wants me to rip her to pieces for "closure", but I know it's because she doesn't like this friend either, but on the other hand, my brother for example thinks I should just be "unavailable". However, my boyfriend reminds me that as she invites herself to social occasions and usually ends up putting me down in front of everyone when she's my friend, how can I expect her to act when she knows I'm fazing her out of my life. So as you can see, I really need outside advice for my issues! So yep, I used an agony aunt site for an objective piece of advice. I haven't really had much feedback as of yet, so I'll post them on here and hopefully you guys can me some advice which would be MUCH appreciated! With love x
Problem number one:"I've been friends with a girl, Rebecca, for the past few years. I felt guilty as when we were in school she didn't have many friends because she is so offensive and can be quite controlling. I was basically her only friend, and I invited her along to events etc with my friends so she felt included, as she has quite a bad home life. We ended up getting pretty close until I introduced her to this guy called Jonny.
Anyway, they were dating but did not get on very well and she continually took it out on me. Once she rang me for an hour to complain about him saying it was my fault as he'd been making jokes about having sex with me. This is typical of Jonny's sense of humour but Rebecca is very jealous so it didn't rub well. Also she was becoming increasingly needy of me, jealous if she didn't get to sit next to me at the dinner table if me and my friends went out for meals, or if I talked to anybody else. She even went in a mood when I was dancing iwith my boyfriend on a night out instead of her. I got sick of her talking to me like I was a piece of sh** after too many gos at me.
She aso has massive double standards which got on my nerves. For example, she would make it near impossible for me not to go to an event she wanted me to go to, even if I didn't fancy it, but she'd cancel on me for silly reasons like she was eating her tea so she wasn't coming out full stop. She also started talking to me horribly in front of friends and my boyfriend, which was really embarrassing as they could not comprehend that I would allow anybody to talk to me like that as I'm not that type of person, but I'd always make up excuses. She stood me up for a meal last minute so I finally decided to say something. She completely exploded at me, typically blaming me for everything, and then a week later acted like everything was normal, even inviting herself to my birthday party. I told her straight that I was annoyed, but she just apologised in a way like it was still my fault and acted normal again. Anyway, she has just stood me up again and had a go saying that I haven't bothered with her for the past month, but that's because I haven't seen anyone as I've had tons and tons of exams. She hasnt rang/messaged me either and I did invite her out clubbing so I made more of an effort than her. Now I'm at a dilemma, I basically don't want much to do with her, but should I tell her straight for closure and so she knows as she'll just keep ringing me and asking me out all the time like everything is fine, or should I just hope that eventually she gets the hint?
I don't want to particularly cause more drama but I want her to get the hint. I know she'll just ring and she's been known to randomly come round my house if I've been "busy", and I hate confrontation so I know I'd just end up forgiving her again and being nice, giving her mixed signals. Any ideas? Thanks very much for any help "
Problem number two"I have been friends with a girl called Ashley since we both began on the same course. We got on really well, so she began inviting me to social occasions.
The thing is, one of her friends Alix who is always invited has taken an instant disliking to me. I tried being over the top nice to her, but she'd be really one worded, and I heard from Ashley that she's really possesive and that she sees me as a threat for some unknown reason. Nothing I have tried has worked to win her over, so now we kind of just ignore eachother which would be fine..... But she leaves me out of conversations by talking about people/things I don't know, she physically walks away if we're out and starts a conversation somewhere else with other people so they leave me to see her, or if we're clubbing she dances somewhere totally differently causing a rift as if "Choose her or me". She tells people that she makes a massive effort with me but I ignore her, and says I give her evil looks which is totally untrue as I still act politely to her but don't go out of my way to talk, and Ashley agrees that it is Alix's problem.
I don't know whether to continue acting normaly and be polite or whether I should avoid all events with Alix in them althogh that's pretty much everyone and just see Ashley by myself. If I do that though I feel horrible telling Ashley explicitly to not invite Alix to stuff and just other people as it makes me look really harsh. Then again if I let Alix know for a fact that I hate her that would make me look bitchy if I go out of my way to be a bitch. I just want an easy life where I don't have to feel judged or left out from Alix which she always tries to do. Help?!"
Hiya :)
Another thing I've been up to is feeding my addictive need to have more clothes! This is a dress that I swapped on my favourite website to big up, whatsmineisyours.com. If you haven't read me nattering on about it before, it's a website where you post up photos of clothes or pretty much anything in your house you don't want and then negotiate swaps with other people for things you do want. Pretty much like ebay, but not usually involving currency. So I just swapped a beaded necklace that wasn't really my taste for the dress above, which I'd much rather have. It's cute and should get me through the summer :).
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