How many friends do you have?Not in the loose sense of the word of people you occasionally chat to, sit next to at work, only see in your studies... I mean the type of people you would spend time with just because, who you could truly trust and who you know you can rely on.
I decided to arrange my full Facebook list into groups (that only I could see!). The first list were people I considered my real friends, the second were people that I could see with time could become real friends if the relationship developed, or people who with a bit of work I could be very good friends with. The third were people who had been really good friends at one point in my life, but now we were distant. The fourth were just people from school/work etc.
It was so eye-opening to see that some of my friends had fell into the second category just because we hadn't seen each other for quite a while, and the how many people had once been so significant in my life and now were barely part of it, other than the occasional 'how are you?'. The most noticable thing though was how many true friends I actually had. They were only a few; about 5/6. We all have friends we only see as part of a group, or not nearly as often as we should who we get on very well with. It's so easy to let things slip. I honestly want you right now to actively think of the people you'd say were great friends... My problem was 'Oh well there's Katie, but in all honesty, we've split ways alot now...... Well there's Kim, but I haven't seen her for years' etc etc. Since they'd been a big part of my life at one time and I know so much about them still, I was still seeing myself as close to them on initial thoughts until I actually thought about it.
I felt so depressed; 5 bloody friends. So I started asking around, searching blogs, reading articles etc just to see, am I the only one? Not at all. They all agreed to have on average between 3-6 close friends with tons more people that were just acquantices, or only 'social friends'. My favourite analogy was the one about trees.
Supposedly friendship is like trees because they are part of of your life in the same way as different parts of the tree are. There's the leaves; these are people who are friends for a little part of your life, but blow away when the wind changes direction. These are your friends you see every day at work to share lunch with, but when you/they change jobs you barely ever see eachother; neighbours, at particular places for example if you both go to the gym together, or see eachother walking dogs. The point is, once this main thing in common changes, the relationship goes kaput.
Next is branches; these are friends that have had a significant part in your life, perhaps for years, or people you once saw alot of and shared many events together with. Falling outs, just generally being busy, losing touch etc and slowly but surely they stop being proper friends and you drift away from eachother.
Then there's the roots, these are the people you could call on for any reason, at any time. You know they are always there for you through thick and thin. The people you could tell your embarrassing stories to, bitch at, have fun with and your shoulder to cry on. These are the people who have had massive influence in your life. Often, these are the people who have been around consistantly for years.
What do you think? How many friends have you got? Do you agree with the tree analogy? Let me know! Love <3
Hiya :)
Another thing I've been up to is feeding my addictive need to have more clothes! This is a dress that I swapped on my favourite website to big up, whatsmineisyours.com. If you haven't read me nattering on about it before, it's a website where you post up photos of clothes or pretty much anything in your house you don't want and then negotiate swaps with other people for things you do want. Pretty much like ebay, but not usually involving currency. So I just swapped a beaded necklace that wasn't really my taste for the dress above, which I'd much rather have. It's cute and should get me through the summer :).
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