Katie: My Beautiful Face

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/katie-my-beautiful-face

Above is a link to one of the most moving and inspirational stories I have EVER heard. Katie - a ridiculously beautiful glamour model and hopeful presenter had her life changed forever when her short term boyfriend subjected her to a brutal sexual attack and then hired a hitman to pour sulphuric acid in her face.

What upset me was Katie's negativity towards her face. Yes, her skin was scarred but she actually still looked beautiful because her facial structure and proportions were the same as ever. She still made a massive effort with her hair (which was gorgeous), she had a lush figure any girl would be jealous of and she was amazing at putting together an outfit. She's not only physically attractive but her personality was a total winner and the biggest reason she has ranked it into my top inspirational people of all time. She was funny, lighthearted, open and honest, and she was also very deep and thoughtful. After watching her show I just wanted to be like her (but not in a creepy stalker kind of way). I totally recommend watching her :)

"The truth about Blair and Elle"

So if any of you guys are into watching makeup 'gurus' on youtube you might have came across Blair (juicystar07) and Elle (allthatglitters21). Basically there's been a lot of fuss kicked up because they've swore that they use their real names and don't get paid to make videos. There's tons of evidence that they lie (for example, Blairs' myspace user name was Elizabeth_789, and in a newspaper article published both of their real names were used), yet they're still denying it.

I'm all for protecting your name and think it's quite cute they chose names based on their fave tv shows and films (Blair -gossip girl, Elle - Legally blonde). BUT to be fair if you only say your first name the chances are unless it's ridiculously obscure it would be near impossible to find the right 'Elizabeth' or 'Lisa' you were looking for, so I don't really see the point. It's only really a problem if you mention your last name too. What annoyed me is saying they don't get paid for videos when they're both partners on youtube so yes they'll def be getting paid. Also, they suspiciously seem to give amazing reviews for products which all the gurus seem to "buy" at the same time in every colour and shape. Obviously these are getting sent to be reviewed so whats the point in lying? You may as well review them but be honest about it too so people can make up their own minds. I still really like them though but sometimes I don't know whether I trust their opinions on products because you don't know whether they're just saying it to keep the freebies.

What do you guys think?
Love <3

Happy as Larry

Ugh I just feel so ill and run down. Jimmy (my reoccuring spot on my chin which tells me to kill people) has now got at least 5 cronies. Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh.





THINGS STRESSING ME :

(Sorry to start with the bad, but if I list the good things last I will remember them more ;) heh)

* My shitty ass friends. I'm not perfect AT ALL. Nuh-uh. BUT I do not be in a huff for somebody for weeks with no explanation, then leave them snipey comments, but snap out of it one day and act like nothing ever happened. I don't leave them waiting holding my birthday present for 35 minutes and do not even say sorry. I dont keep on walking off in nightclubs because I don't really care if they're there or not, and exchange about 5 words with them all night. I don't cancel on them and become unreachable. I don't have a go at friends because I'm feeling down about myself.

If this was all the same person I'd shit them out like a bad takeaway. Unfortunately this is talking about 4 different people, and I'm not going to even deny I'd rather have shoddy friends than no friends.




* Uni. Firstly, which mofo invented "study groups". For those who have not experienced this delight, the class is split into groups and we are expected to meet up in our own time. Expect nobody to return emails/texts/ or to bother turning up. Basically just pertend you are that poo that wont flush down, it's just THERE to remind you.



* Driving: that's it, I'm going automatic.



* Editing videos: They wont publish on my computer and they crash up on my laptop. Lose/lose. :(



* Parents arguing about sex issues. Yet again.



______________________________



THINGS TO BE HAPPY ABOUT:

* My room is finally tidy! I have space!!!! Yayy

* I love Steven :) he's one of the best things in my life right now.

* I have a very supporting and caring family.

* I have maintained my weight at 9st 2

* I'm starting to at least settle into Uni

* I'm improving at driving, and I at least have the money to learn to drive.

* I dont believe Mam and Dad would ever split up. If they did the little child in me would be very apparent :(

____________________________
CONSTRUCTIVE WAYS TO GET IT SORTED:
* Have a week with no contact from said shoddy friends, before I do anything rash.
* Do not go out for nights out with those who are only interested in replicating sex on the dance floor.
* From now on if a friend is being funny, just swallow it up and dont worry. It's her problem not mine.
* Arrange a study group, if nobody turns up, fuck them. Just write the notes privately.
* Start making vids 71/2 mins long, or change to a photo blog.
* Talk to both parents and try fix things a little.

LOVElove<3

Things can only get better

Sorry I've been a really bad blogger recently and haven't updated for ages! Everything has just been so hectic recently it's been hard to get the essentials done nevermind anything else. First of all my shitty job at Momos is finally over since he hasn't given me anymore shifts. To be honest he was a moody shit so really I'm glad that I don't have to see him again. Also I've just started Uni and I feel so lost.... This might be the best Uni in the region but I feel so out of place and like I'm just going from one lecture to the next completely clueless. It's my first year and I'm already clueless!! This is when it's easy and you can take the piss which means it will inevitably only get worse :'(.

I've also just moved rooms to the larger room upstairs which has taken alot of work but it's alot better for the size so I'm happy at least about that :). Things have been bad with the boyfriend again: I'm really worried for him. He's going through a really bad time and I don't think he's fully over his Mam's death. Also he's been arguing with his brother and Dad alot so those two things together are really messing him up. Even little things like missing the bus, and my Youtube vids messing up after spending hours editing them are really getting me down. I want to run and hide into the little envelope of A levels again....

I've had two driving lessons which has just added to my overall general feeling of stress. I nearly crashed the car twice haha :').

Things can only get better?

New job

Hiya guys :) so I started my new job last Saturday so heres the lowdown:
On the first day I was supposed to be trained by my friend and another worker but they were too busy so I pretty much learnt nothing haha. Anyhoo he still put me in by myself on my next shift on Tuesday omg and I got two orders wrong so he was going totally off it at me. I felt really upset so I think he picked up on it and made me a pizza. The day after I was in again on Wednesday and he actually brought in his wife to have a meal and "spy" on me. At first I thought "Oh she probably just eats in here all the time" but she actually came up after and said he'd literally told her to come in and look at me. She then stayed behind telling me what to do which made me feel super shit even though I'm guessing she gave me a good review as he kept on telling her to just chill out and go home which I don't think he would have done otherwise. Finally I was in with Kemi on Friday with no mistakes and I felt confident and was getting good tips. I was supposed to be getting paid a week behind but as I wasn't in on Saturday I'm supposed to get paid on the Friday, but at the last minute he asked me to come in.

I rushed around all day shopping for my boyfriend when he rang an hour beforehand to say I wasn't "needed" anymore so to just come in on Wednesday. I'm totally going to have to be like ummm no I need paying. I think he's trying to get out of it because he kept on saying it was a 'trial run' but at the end of the day I worked just as much as anybody so I really feel I should be paid. Arrggghgh can't be assed to update anymore. Cus later !

Falling at the last hurdle

Aaaah I'm incapable of keeping weight off for long :(. Feel really fat and shitty about myself again, but if I've lost weight once I can lose it again so I'll just have to stop eating my weight in cake which might help a bit ;). Every outing with my friends revolves around food and/or drinking, but I think I'm going to start asking if they want to come out during the day instead maybe for beach outings and whatever so I can be torn away from temptation.

Yesterday it was my friends leaving do as she's going away to Uni in Sheffield, but some of her other friends were there and it was a little awkward. At least I put in an appearance though which is the main thing. I've finally sorted University as well which is making the holidays alot less stressful although I'm quite worried about Steven's birthday and forking out money :(. I also can't afford my bus pass yet so I'm having to get the really expensive day tickets urgh. On the bright side I have a trial run for a restaurant on Saturday so I will let you know how it goes :).

I've gotta feeling.......

Don't worry this isn't a photo of my secret identity finally unfolding :p. Just some of the competition when I was FORCED to enter a pole dancing competition - I shit you not. So me and five of my friends went out for some pizza and a drink afterwards. It was only supposed to be a little sociable drink but Liz got rejected from our usual pub as she only has an identity card. The music was shitty in the next pub so we (and by that I mean me after a few glasses of wine hahahaha) thought it would be a good idea to go to a club close by for a bit of a dance. They were hosting a pole dancing competition later on and the guy running it was trying to influence us to join in. Jo got out of it by cheekily saying it was her day off and he left us alone for the time being. All seemed well........

It started getting super packed as everybody waited to see the competition. The dancing wasn't anything amazing; just normal dancing a bit more dirty, with the prop of a pole now and again. I don't know if I've ever mentioned in my blogging Liz's elaborate OTT sexual dancing which has been many a cringe for us, but this was the perfect competition for her. She decided she'd have a practice run in the break to see if she fancied entering but wanted our moral support so we got up just dancing normally (firmly in the sidelines). Anyway Liz made up some shitty excuse about the pole being sweaty but really I think she just lost her balls :p. The competition was starting again so we went off stage to let room for the entrants. All of a sudden, half way off the stage the host off before grabbed my hand and would not let go. Everyone in the whole club had crowded round this stage by this time and were all cheering me on. Oh shit. I looked for an escape root, but my bag was in the middle of the massive crowd so I'd have to walk straight into all the jeering and boos before I could get the fuck out.

Before I knew it, it was too late. Too late to run, too late to pretend I was too pissed from alcohol etc. I had two options, RUN BITCH RUN.... Or give it the best shot I had and hoped that noone would remember the next day. I got the worst song ever (I've got a feeling by Black Eyed Peas, how can you dance sexily to that shit?) but I thought "everyone will remember me if I make a big deal of not doing it but noone will remember otherwise". So I went for it full on. I felt awkward a little but tried my best to hide it.. And won! I made it to the finals but nothing would ever possess me to do that again. Everyone cheered me on and were saying how great I looked etc which chilled me alot as I can totally tell when they're lying about this shit and that was my biggest worry. I think they were shocked I actually did it but at the same time were impressed I had the balls. Lots of other girls give it a go and were quite good but I think the host had a little something for me haha. In a way I'm glad I entered as that has to rank as one of my most embarrassing moments so I'm hoping other things will slide into minuscule proportion!

<3